Logical Environmental Concern...

Logical Environmental Concern of an American Driver
Phillip MacArthur

I got my gas tank full.
As I pull out of the lot
I feel the extra weight
Of the precious nourishment
Pressing my car down close
To the road.

Now all the scientists say:
Stupid selfish people put
Pollution in the air
So everyone beware.

And: be sure to feel guilt
When a tilt in the priceless
Balance of the Earth drags
Mountains of ice to their knees
And poisonous fumes bring
On the heat.

But if I don’t take this fuel,
Some other loser will, he’ll
Gas-up a lawn mower,
Or a damn leaf blower.

Never mind the gasses
Of the masses: since what’s done
Is done, what’s drilled is drilled.
I don’t feel responsible—
‘Cause I can’t put it back
In the ground.

So I roll down my windows,
Boost the bass. ‘Cause I don’t care;
Using fossils for gas
Is recycling, dumbass.